Category: Blog

Wednesday, I woke up panicked about a mildly sore throat.

Thursday, I woke up elated about the potential this time represents.

Friday, I woke up anxious and physically off.

Saturday, I woke up peaceful… until I opened my social media.  

Today, I woke up motivated and ready to serve.    

Sound familiar?

I’ll be honest, as an entrepreneur and woman going through perimenopause, this is pretty much my life every week 😉, but the anxiety in the air surrounding COVID-19 isn’t helping.

In a way, we are all going through a life change together as our collective and personal sense of order is disrupted.

If you, like me, are experiencing a roller coast of emotions right now, know this: it’s normal.

Some of you may be pissed off or annoyed.

Some of you may be scared.

Some of you may think this is the best time ever and worry about being “inappropriately happy.”

And some of you may feel all of this in a single day!

Whatever you are feeling, it’s okay.

Now, more than ever, is a time to give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling.

Remember: feelings aren’t facts. They are just ways that our bodies process our response to the stimuli around us. And they need to move through us.

That said:

Know your triggers.

If watching the news or frantic Googling of COVID-19 generates fear in you (as it does with me), limit your exposure.

If connecting with people through video calls or the phone calms you down (as it does with me), do more of it.

If you just want to be alone and work on your art right now or dream or sleep or binge on Netflix (as I did Friday), do it.

A lot is coming up for each of us.

Give yourself the time, space and self-compassion to process it.

And give others the compassion to allow them to have their own emotions, even if they differ from yours.  

A mantra I’ve used since my early 20s is “I am always safe and Divinely protected.”

Use this if it helps.

If you need to talk or sort out your next direction, I am offering pay-what-you-can 60-minute coaching sessions until March 31.

Book yours here.

You got this.

June

We are living in stressful times!  Whether you’re adjusting to working from home or worrying about keeping your distance in public, it’s easy to let fear and stress get to you.

But, this reduction in activity can also be an opportunity to connect and work on practices that will ground you long after the coronavirus has gone.

If you and your loved ones are feeling healthy, here are five ways you can use this time as a reset rather than a set-back.

1.  Connect online or in-person

Relationships are the backbone of everything. Call up people you haven’t seen or talked to in years and get caught up. Last night I had an “online dinner party” with friends – old and new – where we shared stories and felt anything but isolated.  If you haven’t already, learn how to use Skype or Zoom and don’t be afraid to pick up that much-neglected app on your mobile – the phone. 😉

2.  Do market research

When building a business, the research never stops. Reach out to people who are your ideal clients and ask them what they long for, what they’re struggling with, and other questions to help you get more clarity. (Message me if you want to set up a session to talk more about how to do this.) Once you know where people are struggling in their goals, you’ll be able to create freebies and other offers that serve them better and attract more of your ideal clients.

3.  Declutter

If your files on your laptop are a mess, now is a great time to sort them. The same goes for your personal and work areas. Get things in order. With so many events canceled, now might be a great time to look at your life and ask if there are any commitments that are no longer serving your priorities. Its spring! This too shall pass. Make space for the new.  

4.  Ground yourself

If you’re intuitive, empathic, sensitive, or just plain human, the energy in the air right now may be overwhelming.

At all times, but especially during times of strong personal and public emotion, it’s important to have a practice that grounds you in the present. This might be meditating, singing, walking, journaling, painting, dancing, cooking, yoga or something else.  Guided visualizations can also be helpful (YouTube has a ton of them – I like those by Jason Stephenson and Micheal Sealey).

Stop yourself if you find yourself compulsively checking the news or social media and instead focus on what feels good to you. Do this practice daily to keep yourself centred.

5. Rest

Nothing is more important than staying healthy. Most North American’s don’t get enough sleep but sleep is what allows our bodies and our minds to repair themselves. Go to bed early and take mid-day power naps if that’s an option for you.  Allow yourself some downtime – now, more than ever.

Be easy on yourself and others.

We’ll get through this.

The webinar was about to begin and – despite 38 people registered – no one was on the call.

MY HEART SUNK.

Something had gone wrong… again. I’d sent out a faulty link.

MY INNER CRITIC CEASED THE MOMENT:

“This is a disaster! No one is ever going to trust you if you can’t get the little things right! All that hard work down the drain!”  

And, then, in a gentler tone:

“Maybe you aren’t meant to do this.”

It was my fifth technical f*ck-up in front of a live audience in four months.

Not only that:

MERCURY WAS NO LONGER IN RETROGRADE.

I had no excuse other than admitting when it came to technology I didn’t know what I was doing… and as a recovering perfectionist, that is a difficult place to go.

And so, the old standby came to mind:

MAYBE I’M NOT MEANT TO DO THIS.  

But this didn’t make sense – I help people transform their lives and the lives of people they work with.

When my work goes well (without technical glitches) it lights me up.

And anything that lights you up and lights others up in the process is something you are meant to do.

Maybe God was testing my resolve by sending me these challenges? Seeing how serious I actually am?

That belief could certainly help me get back on the wagon and stay motivated.

But, after a good cry on the shoulder of a good friend, I decided no.

Like everyone in this game of business and of life, I am figuring it out as I go.

And maybe, that’s what these technical screw-ups were meant to show me in the first place:  

SELF-COMPASSION.

We all make mistakes. Sometimes painful ones. Sometimes in front of others.

And we learn from them.

FAILURE IS SIMPLY AN OPPORTUNITY TO FORGIVE YOURSELF.

You are human. You will always get a second chance.

I often feel guilty going through airport security even though I have nothing to hide.

Case in point:

Last week at the Jacksonville Airport in Florida, I was so nervous, I almost went through the full-body scanner without putting my luggage on the conveyor belt.

Noticing my fidgetiness, a security guard inspected my luggage.

Sure enough, everything was in order and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Waiting for my flight, it struck me how much this parallels what many of us go through when building a business.

We feel afraid of being found out… even though we have nothing to hide.

Whether it’s your first newsletter, your first client, or your first time reaching out to someone you admire,  imposter syndrome is normal.

As marketing guru Seth Godin says:

“If you don’t feel like an imposter, you aren’t trying hard enough.”

Still, the feelings of oh-crap-I-fudged-my-way-in-here-and-don’t-belong-and-now-they-are-going-to-find-out-and-I’ll-be-chased-out-of-the-town-square-with-pitchforks can throw you big-time.  

The next time, you feel like a fraud in your business do one of the following to get back on track.

1.  Reflect on everything that’s led you to where you are now:

If you need to unpack your own bags. Look at the decisions you made, the courses you took, the hours you’ve done it for free, your own personal transformation, even reading this post.  You are likely far more qualified than you give yourself credit for. Own it.

2. Focus on how you can help the person in front of you.

Get out of you head by getting into theirs. Ask questions, be compassionate, offer solutions. Remember: you are making their life better with your services.

3. Look at it as practice.

Because it is. Everything is practice. And the only person who needs to know that is you.

You got this,

June

I was in New Brunswick, visiting a friend’s mother when I noticed what looked like pie plate with the word “tuit” on it hanging on the wall.

“What’s a tuit?” I asked, thinking it might be some regional slang.

“Oh, that’s a round tuit,” she laughed.

“A round tuit?”

“Yah. You know. For when I get around to it.”

I thought, “I can use that!”

If you are like many creative people, you likely have more ideas than time. 

They steal your attention.

As soon as you make inroads on one, the other calls to you like a neglected child, “Play with me instead.”

And so, you waffle back and forth between different projects rarely making any significant progress with any of them.  (Been there. Done that.)

Progress requires focus.

Focus requires dedicated time and attention to a goal – even when it gets hard, and even when you suspect that it might be far easier if you just went with that other idea.

So how do you do this when you have too many ideas?

You create an around to it list!

An around to it list is a list of things you will allow yourself to consider pursuing when, and only when, you have finished the project you are working on now.

My around to it list currently includes a podcast, a documentary video series, a regular live event in Toronto, a play I want to write, certification as a spiritual director, and a trip to Scotland.

I would love to work on any of these right now, but I also have a bigger priority of growing my business teaching people how to build profitable service-based side-hustles to they can leave their day jobs and do what they love full-time.

Until I’m on auto-pilot with this, I know that focusing on any other big projects will distract me and slow down my progress.

And so my around to it list grows…. And that is okay.

Some ideas will lose their appeal over time. The ones for me will still be there when I get around to it.

Everything has a time.  

If you’re overwhelmed, ask yourself:

“What’s the most important thing for me to do now to live the life I want in the future?”

Do that first. Put everything else on an around to it list for later.

You’ll get there when you’re ready.

____________________________

Do you have so many ideas for a service-based business that you don’t know what to do next? Book a complimentary 30-minute video call with me to get clear on the right idea for you.

You’ve decided to finally do that thing you’ve been thinking about – open a new business, change careers, take a long-coveted course…

You’re excited. You’re committed. You’re ready.

But then…

Just as you’re about to take that first major step – start accepting clients, stop entertaining offers in your previous field, put down the payment…

The self-doubt hits:

“What if this isn’t what I really want? Maybe I’m supposed to do something else? Maybe I should do that other thing over there?”  

Your ego is never stronger than when you are about to make a significant change.

It wants you to stay in your comfort zone.

The ego likes you in a place where it knows the lay of the land. It doesn’t matter whether that land is a happy place or one fraught with dissatisfaction or indecision. Like a stubborn child, it wants to stay put.

This is why the moment you are about to take action, you doubt yourself.

Like a shy four-year-old starting school for the first time, your ego doesn’t know what’s going to happen when you let go of its hand so it does everything it can to keep you holding on.  

The stronger its grasp, the more significant the change when you let go.

From this perspective, self-doubt isn’t so much a sign that you might be on the wrong track but an indicator that you are on the right one. 

There’s a saying in personal growth: “New level. New devil.” This means that when you get to the next level of your life, you will continue to have challenges.

I think a better phrase is:

The devil precedes the level.

Looked at this way, doubt is simply another sign that, should you break through it, major growth is on the way. 

What doubts are you struggling with? Drop me a line and let me know. 

In December 2019, after 5 years of planning, I left a career in government to pursue my calling to help more people in this world wake up to who they really are and make the difference they were born to make.

When you play the long-game, motivation can seem scarce; so, to remind me of my mission, I posted the following on the wall of my workstation:  

1. Thank You Angel Investor poster

A steady paycheque has funded my life coaching certification, two business development programs, my website and more. In return, I showed up and did the work it asked of me. For this, I am grateful.

2.  Sticky note with the words “build community” on it

Building community was and continues to be my priority. This reminded me of the need to take steps in that direction every day.  

3.  The Serenity Prayer

At times, my job required that I produce videos and other communications products for people with different political ideologies than I. This timeless prayer reminded me to pick my battles.

4. My mission statement at work

Although not in my job description, my position afforded me opportunities to do some of the things I loved such as writing about personal development, mentoring people and giving motivational talks and workshops. This mission statement and personal definition of success kept me focused on what really mattered during my 9-5 and beyond. .  

5. Sticky note with my end date.

When all else failed, knowing that the end is in sight was a powerful motivator.

In a world filled with so many distractions and competing ideas, it’s easy to get sidetracked.

What can you do this week to stay focused on your dream?

Looking for more ideas? Download my free e-book: 12 Counterintuitive Tactics to Survive a Job You Want to Leave.

When I was 24, I thought the coolest job in the world would be to report on the local music, arts and theatre scenes for an alternative newsweekly.

So, I called up the publisher of my local newsweekly and asked him for an information interview.

Remarkably, he gave me an entry-level job on the spot!

Only it wasn’t writing about the local arts scene. It was selling advertising to small, independent businesses.

And I sucked at it.  

I lasted a week before I gave my notice. 

Going into that meeting, I didn’t know that the editorial and publishing arms of newspapers were completely separate areas.  

Once, I’d found out, I was afraid to say what I’d really wanted.

I was, as they say in the old westerns, circling the wagon.

Circling the wagon happens when you get close to what you want but don’t go directly for it. 

It’s:

• The closet stand-up who memorizes every line from their favourite comic’s HBO special but never gathers the courage to do an open mic night.
• The painter who works at the art supply store but hasn’t picked up their brush in months.
• And, the journalist creating ads instead of articles.

When you circle the wagon, you are surrounded by people who are doing your dream. 

This is amazing! You are already part of a community that is doing the things you want to do. You have contacts!

But, you’re not actually doing what you want.  And this sucks!

You watch from the sidelines, stuck in self-doubt, never summoning the courage to step up and do what you want. 

If this describes you, here’s what you need to do:

1.  Ask someone living your dream for their advice.

Say, “Hey, I really admire your work. How did you become a [insert thing you are in awe of here]”?

2. Admit what you really want to that person.

Stating your dream to someone puts it out in the Universe. It makes you accountable to exploring it further. It sets the wheels in motion.

3. Take one small step toward doing it.

Follow the person’s advice. Do anything in the direction of being who you long to be.

Action is the first step to momentum.

The fastest way to get to where you want is always the most direct route. 

Often, all you need to get there is to believe that you can.